Confidence! The illusive golden ticket that everyone wants to have and embody.
And I get it, when you embody true confidence you are more charismatic, more persuasive, more comfortable being uncomfortable – the list goes on.
Given that it is such a hot topic, I really want to break confidence down for you. Firstly, to show you the stages of confidence and then to of course, show you the unconventional ways to accumulate and hold it.
Stages of Confidence:
- The Apprehensive Executer
- This stage of confidence isn’t yet embodied. They know what to do and still tip toe around it. They um and ahh and eventually will get the job done. This stage, honestly, is hard to even identify as confidence. This stage is like a whisper of the answer in the back of the classroom. Patiently waiting with their hand up in the air and then quietly conveying their knowledge when asked and deemed appropriate.
- The OTT Know-It-All
- You know the one. This person is the classic Know-It-All that screams out the answer before anyone else even has a chance to interpret the question. It’s confident – sure. It’s also loud, obnoxious and down right annoying AF. This stage of confidence typically shines through with an under current of wanting to ‘prove themselves’ to others. It’s over expressed because it’s follow. It a confidence without the conviction and worthiness attached to it.
- The Convicted Confidence
- This. This is the holy grail of confidence and where I want you to strive to be! Convicted confidence is the person that simply hands in the test and absolutely aces it. No need to quiver, definitely no need to prove. A simply showcasing of knowing and power. thye hold presence, will happily help others and cultivate an internal validation over and external show pony persona. This level of confidence will land you promotions, solid friendships and most of all – leadership.
So now you have a better understanding of the stages of confidence, I want to give you some secrets that you won’t find elsewhere – unconventional ways to move towards that Convicted Confidence that everyone truely desires. So here goes:
- If you can be sociable with everyone, you can be sociable with anyone
- GOLD. Say you’re wanting to meet a new romantic partner and you struggle to have the confidence in new conversations… great! So talking to someone you find super attractive is daunting to you? You’re human, I get it. This is what I would have you do to begin with: start talking to your barista. The old lady in the supermarket. The young couple on the walking track. The person stretching next to you in the gym… By becoming sociable with everyone you are flexing a solid skill of communication and getting used to moving and interacting with an open energy. I often task clients to speak to three new people every single day – hellllllo open energy. What this does is ensure that when Mr or Mrs right walks on by, you actually have the skillset to hold a conversation without quivering in your boots.
- Figure out what gives you energy and what takes it away – adjust accordingly.
- that is, stop doing the stuff that dims your light and start doing more of the things that light you up. Seems simple and that’s because it is! Still, it is so often over looked. You become more confident by continuing to actively put yourself in scenarios that naturally bring more of it out of you and more importaqntly, avoiding the places that it disappears. If hanging out with certain people makes you feel small and insignificant, quit spending so much time with them. Yep, it gets to be that eays.
- Define confidence for YOURSELF.
- Super important. Your version of confidence and my version of confidence… compared to Beyonce’s version of confidence – are going to be completely different things. This is great! And is a solid indicator that you’re an individual (this is a great thing) and that everyone is on a different path at any given moment. So, get clear on what confidence looks like for you and make small tweaks and adjustments everyday to move yourself closer to that! As you grow and evolve, so will your picture of confidence. Perfect! Keep adjusting.
Overall, cultivating confidence is much easier than you may currently believe. And if you follow the above and bring awareness to where you may currently be sitting (in regards to the stages), you will find that things can very quickly shift!
And of course, like any new skill, accountability and discipline are important. If you need me in your corner, keeping you on track – I’m ready to hear from you!
