Criticism, according to the Oxford Dictionary, is defined as;
the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes
Sounds a bit gross and uncomfortable, doesn’t it? What if it didn’t have to be?
I want to share a great analogy with you, which could very well change the game for you when it comes to the way in which you view and receive criticism.
When someone provides us with feedback, it is actually up to us to determine how to we perceive it. Sure, it would be amazing if we could somehow cast a spell over the world and have everyone always deliver feedback in a healthy, constructive and kind manner.. but let’s be real. The only person you truly have control over is… you. So let’s start there, shall we?
Firstly, I want to invite you to check in with yourself and how you currently react when someone provides feedback? Do you find yourself snapping into ego reactivity and becoming defensive?
“well, if you wanted it done like that, you should have said so!”
“I didn’t know that, so it’s your fault it isn’t up to your standards”
This ^ is a process of deflection and blame. It’s a common unconscious coping mechanism when we feel threatened or caught off guard. If this is how you typically react, that’s totally fine – don’t go shame spirally for the sake of self awareness. Now, you get to have a more calculated and respectful response, over a shady and defensive reaction.. And I’m going to show you how.
Back to my analogy. When you are provided with feedback, no matter how it is delivered, you have the opportunity to allow it to bury you or build you. Let me explain. Imagine you are in a metaphorical dirt hole (stick with me), and every time you are provided with feedback, it’s as if someone is shovelling in a heap of dirt on top of you. Now, here is where you have two options – you either let the dirt sit on your shoulders, in your hair, over your body… and slowly but surely accumulate and start to bury you. OR, you shake it off and stand. on. top. of. it.
I know which option sounds more appealing to me.
Too often I see people taking criticism way too personally, and they allow themselves to be completely covered in this metaphorical dirt until they are totally and completely buried and feeling helpless. This isn’t a quick process. This unconscious interpretation of feedback happens over your entire lifespan. So you can see how you can get to being 30 years old and feel completely disconnected, out of hope and feeling worthless.
So i know what you’re thinking – this is great knowledge! And I know I can interpret things differently now, but what do I do with the dirt already on my shoulders that I’m already feeling buried by?
Well, my sweet friend – this is where I come in. Having a coach is a sure fire way to get yourself out of the hole for good and up on level ground where you simply get to build and create the life you dream of. Having a coach is like having someone dig you out, by putting their hand down and encouraging you to reach out and grab it.
Because the reality is, the problem started way before you got buried in the dirt. The problem starting by being in the hole in the first place. That is, the problem started when you first began pedal-staling the people around you as being better than you, as knowing more than you, as having an opinion so strong that it could convince you that you are less than.
You see, we don’t see the world the way that it is, we see the world the way that we are. Meaning if you interpret criticism as being a personal attack – where are you not holding a stronger, more powerful and potent knowing of your innate worthiness and worth?
People with a high knowing of their worth, don’t look for evidence to prove themselves wrong. They take criticism as a sign of potential improvement and betterment, as oppose to a sign of weakness and unworthiness.
So, the question is – are you ready to take my hand and get out of the hole for good?
